The Top Ten Things I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman

#3 “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” John Lennon Here we are again, another month has gone by, and summer has quickly blended into fall, with a brisk chill in the air, leaves touched with lovely colors and college football season in full swing (Go Penn State!). As I sit contemplating the fact that the Half Ironman was over 5 months ago, it seems like a lifetime of change has taken place since then, even though in reality, 5 months is but a brief blip on the calendar of life. During those 5 months, as can be expected, life hasn’t worked out exactly as I had anticipated or as I would have planned if I were able to plan my life in any meaningful way. After a flourish of exciting work activity early in the year, my satisfaction in the office began to wane, coming to a head in September when I began pursuing other opportunities. After meeting and dating someone special for a few months, it turned out that the person I thought was right for me apparently didn’t think he was right for me at all. As a result of this situation, I was forced to quickly change direction with respect to my pending move, and I found myself scurrying to find an apartment, which I moved into just this past weekend. My father’s health has continued to diminish, putting additional stress on my mom and the rest of our family. And what I had hoped would be a fabulous training season in preparation for next weekend’s Marine Corps Marathon (and another Boston Marathon qualifying race) has ended up being less than stellar as a result of lots of unexpected travel and life’s little complications. In other words, if you are following my running career, don’t expect to see a Personal Record out of me next week.

So by this point in the blog, you are probably thinking that what I need right now is a shoulder to cry on, a good shrink, a stiff drink, or (d) all of the above. But you would be wrong (although I’ll take the stiff drink if you’re offering…). In actuality, I can’t remember a time during which I have been in a better place. And I can credit most of that to Mr. John Lennon. Now, I am not a huge Beatles’ fan. I definitely respect them as musicians, enjoy many of their songs, but I don’t own a single Beatles album, and I have breezed by the Imagine mosaic and The Dakota hotel in NYC without a second thought. However, Mr. Lennon most certainly had it right when he espoused in the song Beautiful Boy that “[l]ife is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

You see, as humans, I think we have a natural propensity to want to control every aspect of our lives, and, in fact, often the lives of others around us (I am wondering what my ex-husband would say about that statement? ☺…). When we feel out of control of a certain situation we often become fearful, or upset, or frustrated, or disconcerted or unhappy. They say that the reason that more people are scared of flying than driving a car, despite the fact that there are dramatically more people killed in car crashes than in plane crashes, is because we feel like we have control of the car, but unless you’re the pilot, no control of the plane. And I think it is often somewhat misdirected feeling that we have control over the course of our lives that sets us up for disappointment, heartache and sadness, when things don’t turn out the way we expected, and we are forced to come to terms with the fact that we actually have very little control over anything.

But I have finally come to accept the fact that I am not in control of the path my life is taking me down. Sure, there are aspects of my life over which I have some control, e.g., whether I get up in the morning and go for a run or whether I stay in bed and snooze for an extra hour. But overall, I can spend my days planning every aspect of my future to the smallest detail, only to be crushed when things don’t turn out just as I had planned. And as I have come to learn, Life (or God, or Allah, or Yahweh, or whatever your Higher Power might be if you believe in one) has far better plans for me than I could ever have made for myself. In the blink of an eye, my work situation went from unsatisfying to better than I could ever have expected. My failed relationship was a blessing in disguise, giving me the opportunity to reconnect with old friends and spend time with new friends who are emotionally open to the potential for wonderful things. My new apartment is in the most incredible neighborhood, and I could not ask for a more perfect living situation. And because the Boston Marathon registration closed this past Monday in only 8 hours, the pressure is off of me to qualify next weekend, and I am quite content to go to Boston in April as a spectator, visiting my sister and her family and cheering on my friends. As for my dad, well, the Circle of Life is something we are all faced with at some point, and I am fortunate that he has blessed the world with his wonderfulness for 80 years so far.

What I have learned since the Half Ironman is that my imagination about what my life can become pales in comparison to what it actually will become. And that the safe, straight path that I might envision my life taking is nothing nearly as spectacular as the beautiful winding road that it will take, with its rolling up-and-down hills and eclectic scenery. What I have learned, after much experience, sadness, heartache, success, embarrassment, happiness, frustration, anger and a plethora of other emotions, is that life is really good, even when you think it isn’t. And so, for all of my friends and family who often inquire, I can say with a heart and spirit that are overflowing with joy, I am embracing life for all of its chaotic greatness, and I am happier at this very moment with all aspects of my life than I have ever been before. Let life happen and don’t fight it. It’s all good.

Until next time…