The Top 10 Things I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman: The Finale

Each December, as the chill in the air gets more brisk and the holiday spirit more vibrant, I find myself reflecting on the past year with nostalgia and with great appreciation. And as I sit here today typing this final edition of my “Top 10” on the final day of 2010, I look back on the 7+ months since I completed the Half Ironman with complete awe and amazement. 2010 was a banner year for me – a year of great accomplishment; a year of wonderful friendships – both new and old; a year packed with activity and new experiences; a year filled with much love and some heartache. A year like none I have ever experienced before. And for all of the ups and downs, the highlights and the lowlights, and the lessons learned both the easy and hard way, I am truly thankful. And so I share with you the last two lessons I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman.

#2 “In spite of everything, I still believe that people are truly good at heart.” – Anne Frank.

I have always believed that we adults can often learn more life lessons from children (and from dogs!) than we can from other adults, and after recently re-reading “The Diary of a Young Girl” by Anne Frank, this theory has only strengthened. As I am sure all of you know, Anne Frank was a young Jewish girl living in the Netherlands, who was a victim of the Holocaust, and whose diary has not only become one of the world’s most widely read books but is also one of the most moving and inspirational pieces of literature I have ever read. And despite the circumstances under which the diary was written, and the atrocities that Anne witnessed during her time in hiding and later in a concentration camp, she believed in the general decency of humanity. She believed that “people are truly good at heart.”

It is easy to become cynical about the state of humanity, particularly living in a big city where the local morning news usually starts with a report about a shooting or stabbing, a thwarted terrorist attack, or some other violent crime. In a city where people bump into you on the sidewalk without a glance or an “I’m sorry.” In a city where you can jog by a fellow runner and say “Hello!” and get nothing back but a blank stare or a grimace. And, after a year during which I experienced several instances of unkind treatment and unfortunate circumstance, it would be easy to become pessimistic and jaded about the quality of man’s spirit. But one of the most important lessons I have learned this year is that generally, the genesis for people’s meanness, rudeness, nastiness, or general unpleasantness, lies not in their inherent bad character but rather in their deep-seeded pain and unhappiness. It lies in years of being discriminated against, in a childhood filled with abuse or a childhood void of a parent’s love. It lies in losing a job, getting a divorce, being touched by suicide, not getting enough sleep, getting stuck in the notorious DC rush hour traffic, or even just having a bad hair day. And once you accept and understand this reality, it becomes easy to release your own hatred and pessimism and bad thoughts towards others and to instead exhibit the compassion and empathy that can bring peace to your own heart – as I believe it did to Anne’s – and hopefully peace to the hearts of those who are so confused and unsatisfied with life that they take it out on others. Once you accept and understand this reality, it becomes easy to look for the good in people, because as my favorite President (Abraham Lincoln, of course!) once said, “[i] you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.”

There is a wonderful line in the 2010 hit movie Eat, Pray, Love (incidentally, one of my all-time, favorite books, but more about that in 2011 (can you say gratuitous plug?)), in which the main character – Liz Gilbert – is speaking with her close friend Richard about her difficulty in letting go of past relationships and past loves. And Richard advises Liz to “[s]end [them] light and love every time you think of [them] and then drop it.” And as I look back on all of those people – known and unknown – who have caused me pain, both intentionally and unintentionally, over the past year and over the past years, I think about the pain they must have been feeling themselves in order to act this way. And I send all of them light and love and move forward with peace in my own heart, wishing them the same.

Namaste.



#1 “The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” – Benjamin Franklin

What makes you happy?

Isn’t that the million dollar question we are all on a continuous quest to answer? Partially inspired by the writing of this blog and partially due to the roller coaster that life’s path continues to take me on, I have spent a good bit of time since May contemplating my answer to that very question. As humans, we sometimes seem to be better at getting what we think we want than knowing what we really want in the first place. Happiness, or more accurately what makes us happy, can be so mysterious and misunderstood, so fleeting and mesmerizing, and so darn tricky. And so we spend our lives on a journey to reach the elusive state known as happiness, and if we’re lucky enough to think we’ve arrived there, we spend the rest of the time trying to figure out whether we have really reached our destination or whether we’re actually just on a very convincing and deceptive detour. “There are two things to aim at in life,” said Logan Pearsall Smith in “Afterthoughts,” “first, to get what you want; and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.”

Deep.

This fall, I had the opportunity to listen to a book on CD during my various long-distance car trips (because everyone knows I hate driving and these distractions get me through the agony). The book, Stumbling on Happiness by Harvard researcher and professor of psychology Daniel Gilbert, analyzes the biology and psychology of the human brain, and how the science of the mind impacts our ability to experience happiness in our lives. A truly riveting read (or listen) that I highly recommend, although it will likely leave you with more nagging questions than enlightened answers about what it means to find happiness and contentment in your life. In the book, Mr. Gilbert’s discussion focuses on the complexity of the mind – both in terms of its capacity to remember past experiences and emotions and its ability to predict future events and reactions to them. Apparently, the post hoc view of our lives and feelings is pretty skewed – inevitably colored by our mind’s propensity to reinvent the past and create its own reality. Have you ever been in a less-than-perfect relationship that you later idealized after its demise? You spent days or weeks or even months pining over the person who often made you feel upset or self-conscious or inferior when you dated? After the break-up, your brain massaged the actual course of events, creating a version of reality that included mostly, if not exclusively, good times and wonderful experiences, and oh, made you question how you will ever live without the person who, weeks before, you were considering dumping yourself?

At least I hear that happens…

Our minds have a phenomenal ability to romanticize, fantasize, idealize, and rationalize the past in ways that change our remembrances of prior experiences, and hence, our emotional reactions to them. When it comes to predicting our futures, our imagination is bound by the confines of what we know from our present and our past. As a result, we anticipate future happenings and feelings based on how we remember past happenings and feelings. Which we largely remember inaccurately. Which may explain why we mispredict what will make us happy in the future. And so we choose the wrong careers, the wrong spouses, the wrong cities, or the wrong pair of 4-inch heels that we should have known would kill our feet from past bad experiences but that we bought anyway.

At least I hear that happens…

But what does all of this have to do with anything, anyway? What does it have to do with the lessons I have learned about life in the past 7+ months? Well, basically, the #1 lesson I have learned since I completed the Half Ironman on May 8th is…drumroll, please…that I have a lot to learn about myself. About what and who has made me happy in the past, about what and who makes me happy in the present, and about what and who will make me happy in the future. And if “[u]nhappiness is not knowing what we want and then killing ourselves to get it,” as Don Herold suggests, then finding out what makes me happy is step one in my journey towards happiness.

Some of you may be familiar with the book The Happiness Project, which details the author’s year-long quest to find happiness by testing “the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture.” Because of the lessons I have learned in 2010, I will begin my own “happiness project" in 2011, or, as I choose to call it, my self-improvement project, with my successes and failures memorialized in this blog. An experiment in which I will focus on different areas for improvement in my life, in an attempt to become a better person, and in so doing, hopefully reach that nirvanic state of mind that is free from craving, anger, or other affliction that one might also call…happiness. What I have learned since the Half Ironman, through all of the ups and downs of the past months, is that pleasure is fleeting, and happiness is a journey. Tomorrow - 1/1/11 - I will begin the next stage of that journey.

If you have made it to my end of these months of babbling about life’s lessons, I thank you for your readership. I have thoroughly enjoyed reflecting on my post-Half Ironman life with you, and I greatly appreciate all of your kind and thoughtful e-mails and comments on these reflections. I hope you continue checking in as I continue my journey through space and time. And perhaps, just perhaps, a little something that I write or ponder will help impact your life in a positive way. Perhaps it will even make you a little happier. And me happier as a result.

Whatever that means.

To each of you, I send you light and love on this last day of 2010. Have a happy and safe New Year's Eve!

Until next time…

The Top Ten Things I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman

#3 “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” John Lennon Here we are again, another month has gone by, and summer has quickly blended into fall, with a brisk chill in the air, leaves touched with lovely colors and college football season in full swing (Go Penn State!). As I sit contemplating the fact that the Half Ironman was over 5 months ago, it seems like a lifetime of change has taken place since then, even though in reality, 5 months is but a brief blip on the calendar of life. During those 5 months, as can be expected, life hasn’t worked out exactly as I had anticipated or as I would have planned if I were able to plan my life in any meaningful way. After a flourish of exciting work activity early in the year, my satisfaction in the office began to wane, coming to a head in September when I began pursuing other opportunities. After meeting and dating someone special for a few months, it turned out that the person I thought was right for me apparently didn’t think he was right for me at all. As a result of this situation, I was forced to quickly change direction with respect to my pending move, and I found myself scurrying to find an apartment, which I moved into just this past weekend. My father’s health has continued to diminish, putting additional stress on my mom and the rest of our family. And what I had hoped would be a fabulous training season in preparation for next weekend’s Marine Corps Marathon (and another Boston Marathon qualifying race) has ended up being less than stellar as a result of lots of unexpected travel and life’s little complications. In other words, if you are following my running career, don’t expect to see a Personal Record out of me next week.

So by this point in the blog, you are probably thinking that what I need right now is a shoulder to cry on, a good shrink, a stiff drink, or (d) all of the above. But you would be wrong (although I’ll take the stiff drink if you’re offering…). In actuality, I can’t remember a time during which I have been in a better place. And I can credit most of that to Mr. John Lennon. Now, I am not a huge Beatles’ fan. I definitely respect them as musicians, enjoy many of their songs, but I don’t own a single Beatles album, and I have breezed by the Imagine mosaic and The Dakota hotel in NYC without a second thought. However, Mr. Lennon most certainly had it right when he espoused in the song Beautiful Boy that “[l]ife is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

You see, as humans, I think we have a natural propensity to want to control every aspect of our lives, and, in fact, often the lives of others around us (I am wondering what my ex-husband would say about that statement? ☺…). When we feel out of control of a certain situation we often become fearful, or upset, or frustrated, or disconcerted or unhappy. They say that the reason that more people are scared of flying than driving a car, despite the fact that there are dramatically more people killed in car crashes than in plane crashes, is because we feel like we have control of the car, but unless you’re the pilot, no control of the plane. And I think it is often somewhat misdirected feeling that we have control over the course of our lives that sets us up for disappointment, heartache and sadness, when things don’t turn out the way we expected, and we are forced to come to terms with the fact that we actually have very little control over anything.

But I have finally come to accept the fact that I am not in control of the path my life is taking me down. Sure, there are aspects of my life over which I have some control, e.g., whether I get up in the morning and go for a run or whether I stay in bed and snooze for an extra hour. But overall, I can spend my days planning every aspect of my future to the smallest detail, only to be crushed when things don’t turn out just as I had planned. And as I have come to learn, Life (or God, or Allah, or Yahweh, or whatever your Higher Power might be if you believe in one) has far better plans for me than I could ever have made for myself. In the blink of an eye, my work situation went from unsatisfying to better than I could ever have expected. My failed relationship was a blessing in disguise, giving me the opportunity to reconnect with old friends and spend time with new friends who are emotionally open to the potential for wonderful things. My new apartment is in the most incredible neighborhood, and I could not ask for a more perfect living situation. And because the Boston Marathon registration closed this past Monday in only 8 hours, the pressure is off of me to qualify next weekend, and I am quite content to go to Boston in April as a spectator, visiting my sister and her family and cheering on my friends. As for my dad, well, the Circle of Life is something we are all faced with at some point, and I am fortunate that he has blessed the world with his wonderfulness for 80 years so far.

What I have learned since the Half Ironman is that my imagination about what my life can become pales in comparison to what it actually will become. And that the safe, straight path that I might envision my life taking is nothing nearly as spectacular as the beautiful winding road that it will take, with its rolling up-and-down hills and eclectic scenery. What I have learned, after much experience, sadness, heartache, success, embarrassment, happiness, frustration, anger and a plethora of other emotions, is that life is really good, even when you think it isn’t. And so, for all of my friends and family who often inquire, I can say with a heart and spirit that are overflowing with joy, I am embracing life for all of its chaotic greatness, and I am happier at this very moment with all aspects of my life than I have ever been before. Let life happen and don’t fight it. It’s all good.

Until next time…

The Top 10 Things I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman: Post-Sabbatical

Well, my apologies for taking nearly a month off from blogging, but the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity that have left me feeling, well, honestly, rather drained - emotionally, physically and mentally. But I am getting myself back into the swing of things and into a more balanced place, and so I find myself, yet again, at the computer, driveling about the tiny pieces of wisdom that I have gained during this madness.

THE TOP 10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE SINCE THE HALF MARATHON: POST-SABBATICAL

#4 "Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate...without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we had never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change, so do cities, people come into your life, and people go. But it's comforting to know that the ones that you love are always in your heart...and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away." (Carrie from Sex and the City)

As we embark on a new season, and the intense heat of the summer of 2010 paves the way for a cool and colorful fall (*fingers crossed*), it doesn't escape me that life itself is very much like the changing seasons, with different chapters representing different careers or friendships or loves or cities or collections of special moments. This summer brought wonderful new people into my life, new experiences, new joys and new pains. And through most of it, I have tried to appreciate the current season for what it is without dwelling on past chapters or looking hopefully into the future. When life it good, it is easy to get so caught up in the wonder of your current story that you start writing more and more of your book before the outline is done. Doing so, almost always ends up being a mistake, as moving through life's seasons too quickly does not allow you to make the transitions necessary to ease into new weather patterns. I hope I have not learned this lesson too late.

As for the changes in my life, this new season will mean a move back into the big city of DC (Chinatown to be exact), which I left in he fall of 2007 for the 'burbs of Virginia. I am generally one who thrives on change, and I am excited about the move, but with change always comes feelings of fear and nostalgia. I have lived in my wonderful apartment in Rosslyn for nearly two full years (a record for me), and I have made great friends here and savor great memories. But it is comforting to know, that despite life's ups and downs, moves and relocations, good times and bad, the ones that you love will always be with you in your heart. Appreciate each season for the wonder it brings and try not to get so caught up in dwelling in the past or looking to the future that you forget how fantastic the now really is.

Until next time...

The Top 10 Things I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman Continues

Well here we are, another week, another posting. Life continues to move along in fast forward, and I find it hard to believe that we are nearing mid-August, which means a new school year, Labor Day right around the corner, and for those of us lucky enough to work for the Federal Government in DC, slightly less crowded commutes as families try desperately to get in last-minute summer vacations and Congressmen and Senators flee home for last-minute campaigning (or rounds of golf).

And so, exactly 3 months after my Half Ironman, I continue my observations on my thoughts on the meaning of life...

THE TOP 10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE SINCE THE HALF IRONMAN CONTINUES

#5 "Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some." - Robert Fulghum Ever since I was a young girl - so young that I can't remember how young I was - I wanted to be just like my dad and practice law. For those of you who have not been lucky enough to meet my dad, he is an incredibly accomplished attorney, but more importantly, a great, kind and understanding person and a wonderful father. As I progressed in school, I never seriously considered doing anything other than following in the footsteps of my own Atticus Finch. So I studied hard (and let's be honest, played hard), and found myself in the first year law class at the University of Virginia in the fall of 1996.

Interestingly enough, my father actually did not want me to become a lawyer. Of course he was very proud when I was accepted to UVa, but he did not like where he saw the practice of law going, i.e., he said it was becoming a business rather than a profession. At the time I did not know what he meant. Now, I most assuredly do.

"The law is a jealous mistress." That is a comment a friend's father made to me at my college graduation. He was an attorney in California, and I can't remember the context in which he made this statement, but it stuck in my head. Fast forward 6 years, and I was experiencing that jealous mistress and the business of law first hand. As an associate at one of the largest law firms in the world, I found myself regularly working 18-hour days, pulling all-nighters nearly every week, and catching cat naps in the office in the sleeping bag that I stashed under my desk. I traveled frequently, often on last-minute notice, and I rarely had time to do anything other than work or complain about work. I was miserable.

And I was so not the Kathleen I had always known. Growing up, my parents had encouraged me to experience all that I could in life, and while I always worked hard in school, I also played tennis, violin and piano, spent time with friends and family, ran track, traveled and enjoyed a full and balanced life.

Ultimately, I chose to leave the practice of law and join the ever growing group I affectionately call "Recovering Attorneys," because the law was the jealous mistress that aided in the demise of my marriage and it was a business about making money rather than a profession about helping those in need. In December 2005, I moved to DC to begin my career in public service, and I vowed to make time each day for friends and fun and exercise and other non-work activities.

Four and a half years later, I continue to strive for that balance, usually successfully, and I am happier than I have ever been. Certainly, there are days when I have to work late (I have even had a few all-nighters in my current position), and there are days that I probably should work but end up spending them hanging out with friends. But overall, each day in my life includes a little work + a little exercise + a little time with friends and my dogs = a lot of joy.

It is so easy to get caught up in one aspect of life. What I have learned first hand is that no one thing is as important to happiness as balancing the many things in our lives that complete who we are. Euripides, the great ancient Greek playwright, advised that "[t]he best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man."

Be wise.

Until next time...

The Top 10 Things I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman: The Return

My apologies for a bit of a delay in continuing this Life Lessons saga, but the main character has been very busy at work and at play, and I have only now found a moment to sit down at my dining room table with a cup of coffee to write this third installment. I hope it is worth the wait.

Back to where we left off with the story. I believe that brings us to #6...

THE TOP 10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE SINCE THE HALF IRONMAN

#6 "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain I remember the day my sister Eileen turned 21. I was a spry girl of 17, nearing the end of high school and feeling that my sister had finally reached over-the-hill status. When I turned 21 myself, I, of course, felt like I was at the prime of my youth, embarking on a new chapter of my life, still very early in the Book of Kathleen. Now at the age of 36, I do not feel much different than I did at 17, i.e., feeling that I am still young with the best years ahead of me (and that my sister is still an old lady! :). And yet, I know that in the eyes of a 17-year old, or a 21-year old for that matter, I am likely the person who has gone past the crest of the mountain and is headed down the other side with a cane in hand.

Or maybe not. Over the course of the past few months, I have been humbled by the sincere comments of a number of young individuals whose path I have crossed who assumed that I was their age (think 26 rather than 36) and not the Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe.

Life Lesson #6: Botox works.

Just kidding! For the most part, I do not think these comments result from my physical appearance other than the fact that I am not out of shape, don't have gray hair, don't wear tons of makeup, and don't wear mom jeans. Take note: Doing any one of those things can age you by at least 10 years. For men, cross off mom jeans and add one of the following: (1) sporting a comb-over; (2) wearing high-waisted pants; or (3) failing to trim your nose or ear hair.

Instead, I think it is my general youthful attitude and playful outlook on life (some may call it immaturity...) that keeps me from aging in the typical sense of the word. A few years ago, I would argue, I was actually much older in Kathleen Years than I am now (as opposed to my age in People Years or Dog Years), because I temporarily lost my childlike sense of adventure when I was dealing with the stress of my divorce, move and career change. During that time, I also virtually stopped working out or caring about what I wore or weather my shoes matched, possibly leading others to believe that I was aging and losing my vision and ability to recognize the difference between brown and black pumps...

True story. I had two pairs of identical shoes, one black, one brown, and I wore one of each to work a few years back. Totally hot.

But what I have learned by observing others whom I perceive to be old or young without having any idea of their age, is that aging is mostly mental, only slightly physical and very minimally genetic, and there are a lot of things you can do to keep yourself young if you are willing to work at it. Interestingly enough, there is an entire Web site dedicated to telling you how to reduce your "real age" - www.realage.com. This site was created by Drs. Oz and Roizen of the YOU book series (and frequent guests on Oprah). I encourage you to visit RealAge, take the free questionnaire, and learn what your "real age" versus your numerical age is and what steps you can take to drop down in Kathleen Years. Here is a summary of my top 10:

1. Never outgrow the desire to ask "why?" and never assume you already know the answer.
2. Be willing to try anything once and consider giving the things you didn't like a second chance.
3. The key to youthfulness cannot be found sitting on your couch, watching TV and eating ice cream. No matter what you choose to do, go out and experience life.
4. Hang out with others who are young or young at heart.
5. Stay connected with modern society - turn off talk radio and listen to a hip radio station, get on Facebook and read Us magazine.
6. Do some type of physical activity every day without excuse.
7. Don't smoke.
8. Get plenty of sleep.
9. Floss your teeth.
10. Smile often, laugh heartily, give generously and NEVER lose your sense of humor.

T.S. Eliot once wrote: "I don't believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates."

Go forth and move forward.

Until next time...

The Top 10 Things I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman: Part Deux

As I continue on with the sequel to my first Solo in the City blog, it seems that my return to the world of blogging has been met with approval. Thank you to all of you who sent me friendly hellos and nice comments last week. And so I go on to blog another day...

THE TOP 10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE SINCE THE HALF IRONMAN: PART DEUX

7. "...I believe that you measure yourself by the people that measure themselves by you." I am an incredibly blessed person. Within a few miles of my little apartment in Rosslyn, VA, live some of my closest friends from childhood, college, law school, and my early working years. Having inherited the Irish gift of the gab and general social nature of the Celtic people, I have also been fortunate enough to meet (often in some rather unusual ways) wonderful people since I moved to DC in December 2005, who have become wonderful friends as well.

There's Christina, one of my best girlfriends, whom I ran into in the Metro one day this winter on the way home from work. Scott, my connection to all things artistic in DC, who saved me from getting lost when I first joined a new running group last fall for a 23-mile long run. Ed, whose Italian, winemaking father I had the pleasure of meeting at the very same bar in which Ed and I first shared a beer while stranded during one of this winter's many snowstorms. Emma, who is from Ireland and has lived in my building for a year but whom I met running on the track in Georgetown. Jeff, the successful architect who confided in me about his divorce and a recent sad break-up the first day we met at my apartment's rooftop pool. RP, with whom, in the course of only a month or so I feel more comfortable with than almost anyone else I have ever known. Lori, my funky friend from Treasury who commiserated with me during long hours in the office in the first days of TARP.

And the list could go on and on.

When I left big law firm life, went through a divorce, and moved to a small apartment in a very expensive city to work for the government, my life - in the eyes of many - became less "rich." No longer living in a big house with a pool, taking annual vacations to places like Italy and Hawaii, and getting Christmas gifts such as a car or expensive jewelry, I, too, wondered at first what my life had become. My first months in my tiny, cramped apartment in Adams Morgan were very dark. In Dallas, a city known for its materialism (the popular 80s TV show was not complete fiction), I had become someone who had started measuring her life by where I worked, where I traveled, what car I drove, and what brand of jeans I wore. I didn't like that person, but leaving her behind when I moved here was not easy. It took me a few years to say goodbye to that old, toxic friend. And yet here I sit today, with a small bank account but feeling like the richest person in the world because this afternoon I am meeting a friend from work for lunch in Chinatown. And tomorrow I am going for a long run and to a swimming party with my running group. Then I am watching the World Cup with a group of friends at a local soccer bar. And then I am going with friends to the Sting concert. And on Monday night I am meeting friends to watch Goldfinger outside on the Mall.

What I have learned, is that in the end, I will measure my life by the number of lives I have touched in a positive way. By the number of people who consider me a friend and who believe that their lives were more rich by having known me. Not by my stock portfolio. Or the car in my garage. Or even having a garage (or a car), for that matter. In the movie The Bucket List, Morgan Freeman's character, who is told he has one year to live, says it well: "It's difficult to understand the sum of a person's life. Some people will tell you it's measured by the ones left behind. Some believe it can be measured in faith. Some say by love. Other folks say life has no meaning at all. Me, I believe that you measure yourself by the people that measure themselves by you."

Until next time...

By popular demand, I have decided to dust off my blogging shoes and resume my online babbling, after a well-deserved, 2-month sabbatical post Half Ironman triathlon. The past few months have gone by like a whirlwind, despite the fact my plan was to spend my time after the race sitting on the couch, eating bon-bons and watching bad Lifetime movies while twiddling my thumbs. If it’s at all possible, my life has actually been more hectic since May 8th than it was before, when I was dedicated to following my strict 3-sport training regimen while trying to learn my new job and deliver a major project to the head of my agency. Over the past 2 months, I have experienced a flourish of social activity of the positive kind, which has kept me on the go 24-7. Because so many events and activities have transpired since I last put pen to paper (or type to blog?), I thought I would summarize my time by reciting the Top 10 Things I Have Learned About Life Since the Half Ironman. Blog entry #1 covers the first 3 lessons in this saga, both because I am feeling slightly lazy this evening and because I want to drag out this post so that I don’t run out of blogging ideas ☺ Stay tuned for the remainder of the top 10 list...


THE TOP 10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE SINCE THE HALF IRONMAN

#10 I love running. If you followed my tri blog, you know that while I definitely enjoyed some of the aspects of the training more than anticipated (e.g., swimming), it was often a struggle to fit in all of the weekly workouts in multiple sports, largely during months of inclement weather, alongside a challenging work schedule and abundant social calendar. So much of a struggle that many days I found myself going through the motions without really enjoying the experience. As soon as the triathlon was over, however, and I went out for my very first casual, unplanned run on the lovely Mt. Vernon Trail along the Potomac in DC’s spring sunshine, I felt liberated. Truly free and happy. Since that day, I have focused my training on running (and strength training), and what I have realized is that I just plain love running. It gives me time to contemplate work or personal issues, or socialize with my running buddies, or jam to good music, while getting in a great workout in a short period of time. As a result, my plan is to focus on several running races this fall rather than participate in another tri. I do have vague plans to do another Half Ironman in 2011, but for now I am going to put on my running shoes and remain loyal to my first fitness love. So far, my love has treated me well - I ran my first post-tri race in June with my Capital Area Runners team and PRed (i.e., set a Personal Record) for the 10K distance finishing in 43:31 - 40th place among 1568 women overall).

#9 The best place to sneak a photo of yourself in the West Wing is in the bathroom near the Oval Office. A close friend from work was given the opportunity to work at the Office of Management and Budget, the Federal agency that serves the President and is largely responsible for overseeing his policies throughout the Executive Branch. This friend was kind enough to invite me to a special, non-public tour of the West Wing, a perk provided to those who have the privilege to work at OMB. I graciously accepted and joined him and another friend at the White House a few Friday nights ago for a 9:15 p.m. jaunt through Homebama. You know, your typical kick-off to the weekend in DC ☺ The unfortunate part about the tour was that you are strictly prohibited from taking photos anywhere other than in the Press Room. However, those are photos that any commoner (did I just say that?) can get during his or her White House tour. So I got creative. Just outside the Oval Office (which, by the way, is far too immaculate to make it look like any work is actually done there), are men’s and women’s restrooms. Given that I am pretty well-versed in Federal privacy laws, I was relatively certain that the Secret Service, who filled the place, were not watching me as I relieved myself. So I quickly took my camera out of my purse and snapped a shot of my reflection in the mirror. Lesson learned: The best place to sneak a photo of yourself in the West Wing is in the bathroom near the Oval Office. Disclaimer: If President Obama or any of his staff or Secret Service Agents are reading this, I am just joking…

#8 The key to a happy life is to channel your inner Satisfier. I once read a quote from my favorite actress Audrey Hepburn that has stuck with me. She had been asked how she always managed to appear happy when she had such a tough childhood (she suffered from starvation and other unpleasantries in Nazi Europe). Her response was (and I am paraphrasing) that her youth taught her an important lesson, i.e., to set your expectations in life low because then you are destined to be pleasantly surprised rather than tragically disappointed. Wow. Profound. A similar conclusion is drawn in a roundabout way in a book that I stumbled upon on my wonderful Amazon Kindle, which, incidentally, ranks near the top of the things I would take with me if my apartment burned down, along with my dogs, my passport, my iPhone and my Garmin GPS watch…The book, which has been the subject of much conversation between me and my close friend Christina, is entitled “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” by Lori Gottlieb. The theme of the book is that if you live life like a Maximizer, i.e., someone who is never satisfied with what they have (for the purposes of the book, that something is a man) – even if that thing (or person) is really great – but is always looking for the next best thing, then you will likely be someone who does not end up happy (again, for the purposes of this book, that means in a wonderful, committed relationship). The opposite of a Maximizer is a Satisfier, or someone who recognizes when she has a good thing and doesn’t let it go – she doesn’t feel the need to search for something better because what she has is already wonderful. Bringing all of this full circle, I had the opportunity to meet my old boss (Linda, I mean old in the sense of previous and not age!) for lunch yesterday, and she commented on my dating life, making the comment that when she met her second husband, they definitely clicked, but she could have kept dating other men looking for someone with whom she “clicked” even more, but what was the point? 20 or so years later, they continue to have an incredible marriage. Something she might have missed if she continued to look for someone with whom she was even more compatible – a someone she may never have found. The bottom line is that the key to a happy life may just be channeling your inner Satisfier and saying so-long to the Maximizer in you. At least when it comes to men.

Until next time, and my next few Life Lessons...